I miss everything about home. Not that I'm not staying with my parents now. It's just that I miss the ALL those people who used to stay there; Ko, Jie and Bern. The house used to be very noisy and was never quiet.

I remember when I was little, where my body parts are still growing, Ko and Bern very often pull my bra straps from the back for no reasons! Of course its very irritating and disturbing. I told them off countless of times, but never once they let me go. Ko loved to tickle me as well till I'm so afraid of him everytime he comes near to me or even he's not, I felt that he is somewhere near me and would tickle me anytime. Somehow, Ko was the nice one, always walk me to kindergarden and then walk me home. I'll always cry if I don't see him after school. He would take me to the groccery shop nearby our house.

Then when I was 12 years old, I had my 1st "aunty visit". I was so all excited cause I finally felt like a 'woman' and I ran telling my mom about it. She didnt gave the reaction I was expecting. I remember clearly, they all laughed at me.

Jie was the 'angel' in the house. She hardly disturbs me. She had the room all to herself for a period of time and Ko, Bern and I had to sleep in one small room. I grew up sleeping with my bros till mom babysits a girl who is just a year older than me. The both of us slept with Jie. She used cycle me around the housing area till one day my left ankle got stucked at the wheel and leaves a scar.

Ko officially 'leaves' the house in 2000 when he got married. I was his bridesmaid. I didnt know why. I was 15 then. Then left Jie, Bern and I. Bern left for Aussie in 2003 and it was still ok. I had my sis at home and we would spend time somewhere everyweek. She would take me for movies, makan, shopping and just anywhere. It was much easier staying with her than with Bern cause he never shares the car with us (some of you know what i mean...). Then Jie started dating. This time, only makan and shopping... However, I benefit from that as well, as I was able to have the car more often.

Then sis got married and moved out, Bern came back from Aussie and moved out as well. Now what left is me and my parents. Im so lonely at home!!! And so is mom. I used to grumble a lot for not having a room to myself and privacy and now, over-flowing of privacy, which comes together with loneliness and quietness. Though sis and Ric comes back almost everyday for dinner, the house still is empty. And dad hardly comes back early this few weeks.

*sigh**

I miss my 'old' home and I wish I could turn back the time.