I feel like putting my head in the toilet bowl and flush it down!

It's exam now and I'm in no mood of studying.

All I think now is... Shopping, Jap Buffet, Mission Trip, more Shopping and all the fun that you can name. And You! you know who you are.

Just when I quiet down myself before the Lord before I starts any reading, I looses focus.

I need FOCUS!

I need CONCENTRATION!

I have to keep telling myself that, "Ok Sheila, this is your final year. Dont blow it away! Struggle for another week, you're done till next year. 3 months of summer hols... How cool is that?".

Just when I think of the 3 months hols, my mind goes back to wandering shopping, mission, camps... and all fun you can name.

To top that up, close friend Michelle is home and I really wants to go lepak with her. Though she'll be here for about 2 months, but it is the feeling of hanging-out-with-her-as-soon-as-she-gets back that I want to have.

To top top that up, I'm the only one left alone here in Malaysia with exam (exclude the SPMs). How bad is that?

Aaarrrggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...!

I'm so angry at myself.

And so, yesterday I sat for my 1st paper.

I'm not sure how it went.

I dare not think about it.

But I know that I've put my 101% on that paper.

Everyone rushed out from the exam hall as soon as Ronald said, "Ok, you may go now...".

Almost everyone rushed to grab their bags and the textbook to check the answers and discuss with their friends.

While the rest, stayed back in the hall and asked Ronald if their answers were right.

As for me, I took my own sweet time to get up from my seat and take my own sweet time to make myself to the front stage for my bag...

Then Ronald came to me and asked, "So how Sheila? How did u find the paper? Very easy right?"

"Hmmm... not really..."

I find myself trying not to think back of the paper I've just did.

The rest just came to interupt my conversation with Ronald.

And so I walked away because everyone else is eager to know if their answers were right.

As I passes through all the students, I didn't even joined my friends or to go over and greet them after not seeing them for 2 weeks.

Afraid of being asked how I did? Is this answer correct?

I find myself afraid of knowing the answer I did were correct. Knowing how I did.

I'm not sure if this is a sign of low self-confidence for exam.

I'm struggling...

to regain my focus, concentration and self-confidence.

I'm left with 2 more papers,

Monday = Small Business200
Wednesday = Public Relations102

Prayer. Pray for me. Need lots of them.