Where was I last night??? Hmmm... rights!!! I was at the Taylor's Musical Festival; Sounds of the Ocean.

I got my free tickets from Tus. Yeah, thanks to him for getting me 2 free tickets or else I'll have to pay RM15. I was kinda looking for it but when the whole was kinda dissapointing. The crowd was bad, the PA system was equally bad. However, the emcee was good, for me. He knows how to get the crowds attention and he really communicates with the crowd.

Collin's and his 'concubine's was one of the performers and they call themselves The Atonomy of Faith. For me, it was kind of like an 'ice-breaker' because the 1st 2 was kinda B-O-R-I-N-G. They sang Dare you to move by Switchfoot and Sugar, we're going down by Fall Out Boy. The other 2 enjoyable performance was from Fauzi, an ex-msian idol 15 finalist (according to the emcee la... betul ke ni?) and The Dawn, which consists of 4 typical looking china men (not handsome one...). The other performance I was looking forward to was from Tus's band, Aexis (can someone pls tell me how to pronounce this word...). However, I didnt manage to catch his. *Feeling kinda bad, cause he got free tics for me and I missed his performance.... darn me!!!**

Btw, I was conned! They told me that 8TV and NTV7 was going to be there but they weren't. Hehehe... Darn Jayson, keep looking out for them for me. I'm not seeking for attention.

I feel very distracted this 2 weeks. I can't stay focus in every single thing I do. I'll procrastinate and procrastinate and procrastinate... till things never actually get done. I know what my distractions are but am I not willing to let it go? Getting myself out from the comfortable thinking zone (at that point of time) and look forward for something REAL and GREATER? I think I've changed. I'm not sure if it is for good or bad. Something within me has to go or it'll ruin my life forever!!! Seriously serious...! How? One way, that is through God. Sometimes, people knows what are their problems and they know who to find but why sometimes it's so hard for them to find that person and get it solve once and for all. Just like me and Him, I know if I seek Him earnestly, doors will be opened to me but what is stopping me from searching Him? And things never get done at the end... *some of u probably dont understand what I'm saying her but it's ok... just read on** =)

I also have been thinking about my studies recently (told ya, I've been thinking a lot!). I kinda regret taking business. I should have follow my heart and take up photography, something my heart has been telling me to do since in secondary school. I totally have no idea why I ended up in Business School. The urge in me to learn photography is getting stronger and stronger. Everytime, I see great photos in mag, I envy and I want to be the photographer that take those great pics. I WANT TO BE A PHOTOGRAPHER!!!

I've been doing lots of thinking about my hair. Vain uh... but THAT'S ME!! *taadddaaa** I've finally decided to keep my hair long. I've been keeping my hair short for the past 9months. There was a mix feeling when I cutted my hair though I wanted to do it for so long. I felt a bit 'sayang' to 'chop' my long straight hair off, and the other part of me feels more comfortable and easier to wash, comb and blow.

After 5 months of maintaining short hair, I've come to realise that it's quiet costly. Everytime I trim my hair, my purse's empty by RM35. Moreover, short hair must or rather advisable to be trimmed every month, the max, 2 months. However, my record was 3months. Why is that? Simple I was broke! =)

When I 'annouced' to few friends about my decision, there were different responses from different people...

Jes: She rolls her eyes and say "So fickle minded! Never cut your hair without my permission k?"
**she's the one whom I always get scolding from everytime I trimmed my hair** hehe...

Donna: "I've heard that since like... when??? how many months ago???"

Grace: "I like you with short hair. I think it suits you."
**Then she'll start talking about her own hair. Amazing how she can just switch the attention to her hair. Yeah, by doing the Sunsilk ad.**

Mich: Though she didnt gave me any responses but i reckon she'll just roll her eyes. hehehe...

Elaine (my hairdresser): "Why? But I like you in short hair and I enjoy cutting for you too." (yeah... everytime she cuts, she digs out RM35 from my pocket)


Finally, I've decided to keep long hair and when it reaches my shoulder, I'll go for rebonding!! again... =)

I miss everything about home. Not that I'm not staying with my parents now. It's just that I miss the ALL those people who used to stay there; Ko, Jie and Bern. The house used to be very noisy and was never quiet.

I remember when I was little, where my body parts are still growing, Ko and Bern very often pull my bra straps from the back for no reasons! Of course its very irritating and disturbing. I told them off countless of times, but never once they let me go. Ko loved to tickle me as well till I'm so afraid of him everytime he comes near to me or even he's not, I felt that he is somewhere near me and would tickle me anytime. Somehow, Ko was the nice one, always walk me to kindergarden and then walk me home. I'll always cry if I don't see him after school. He would take me to the groccery shop nearby our house.

Then when I was 12 years old, I had my 1st "aunty visit". I was so all excited cause I finally felt like a 'woman' and I ran telling my mom about it. She didnt gave the reaction I was expecting. I remember clearly, they all laughed at me.

Jie was the 'angel' in the house. She hardly disturbs me. She had the room all to herself for a period of time and Ko, Bern and I had to sleep in one small room. I grew up sleeping with my bros till mom babysits a girl who is just a year older than me. The both of us slept with Jie. She used cycle me around the housing area till one day my left ankle got stucked at the wheel and leaves a scar.

Ko officially 'leaves' the house in 2000 when he got married. I was his bridesmaid. I didnt know why. I was 15 then. Then left Jie, Bern and I. Bern left for Aussie in 2003 and it was still ok. I had my sis at home and we would spend time somewhere everyweek. She would take me for movies, makan, shopping and just anywhere. It was much easier staying with her than with Bern cause he never shares the car with us (some of you know what i mean...). Then Jie started dating. This time, only makan and shopping... However, I benefit from that as well, as I was able to have the car more often.

Then sis got married and moved out, Bern came back from Aussie and moved out as well. Now what left is me and my parents. Im so lonely at home!!! And so is mom. I used to grumble a lot for not having a room to myself and privacy and now, over-flowing of privacy, which comes together with loneliness and quietness. Though sis and Ric comes back almost everyday for dinner, the house still is empty. And dad hardly comes back early this few weeks.

*sigh**

I miss my 'old' home and I wish I could turn back the time.

Plain Tuesday...

2nd day of break!!! Done nothing productive but watching lots of TV. Hehehe... Kinda lazy to study for my CB test 2 which is on the 2nd of May. Mom and I signed up for church camp on SUnday but still not sure we're REALLY going (keep in view).
My body has been aching for 2 days ady. This the results of abandoning futsal for so many months. Hehehe... I can hardly move man!

Anway, I have been lots of thinking these few days. I felt myself drawing further and further away from God. I'm so spiritually dry. I can no longer feel the touch from Him and the fire in me. What happened? Is the world taking me away from Him? And someone asked me a question few weeks ago and it really made me think what I'm doing now. Am I serving myself in my comfort zone and when am I going to step out from my comfort zone and serve Him? I quitted De Connection because I feel lost there and I don't have the urgency of calling ppl up anymore. Then, I was told to help out in the college cell as core members. Is that really serving Him? Recently, there a few people who keep asking to me go back RR and serve. Well, I was once a ranger there and if now i go back, I'll be serving as a leader. Kinda pressuring!! hehehe =) Jeff asked me a thousand times ady but never once I put into consideration, like REALLY think of it. Well, kinda thinking about it now. Cause I want to really make sure that it's not for the sake of ppl asking me.

Ok. I know I've not posted much entries recently. Have been kinda busy with assignments after assignment and mid sem tests. Sat for my last test today before easter break. It was by God's Grace that I was able survive this 2 intense weeks. Hmmm... talking about assignments. Kinda piss me off. Apparently, Im the only member of the group. You see, we are suppose to come out with a questionnaire for our markeing research project and the deadline is in 4 days and no one care less about it. Before that, lots of excuses were given and causes delay and no one turn up for group discussion. So, I have to do it all by myself. Including, getting approval from Mr Lim, the pre-test, the typing and the editing. Even today, one day after the deadline, no one still bother to ask about the questionnaire. I was thinking... are they taking advantage on me that I'll definitely will do or are they really couldnt be bothered? I promise myself, if batang hidung pun tak nampak for the next meeting, I promise Im going to kick them off the group and it will be me and Alan only. No SYMPATHY!!!

Though his week has been a busy week for me, I was still able to meet up with Cletus for 'bah kut teh' and spent some quality time. Uncle Micheal (mom's cousin) and his wife was down in Klang this week and for the 1st time, I met another cousin of mine, Watson, whom I've never met. Took them for dinner on tuesday and wednesday (steamboat and bah kut teh). He's a very soft-spoken, slow and blur man, just like the rest of his siblings, 14 of them!!! hehe =)

Lately, the Da Vinci code has been a hot talk in Malaysia (Im not sure about other country), particularly in the Christian society. Rev Mike held a talk last week in church how we christians should respond to such thing or how to handle it (something like that), and I was suppose to go and I was really interested to go as well. But mommy wanted me to go facial. *Sigh** Regreted I went facial instead of the seminar.

Anyway, today is GOOD FRIDAY! Let us all remember Jesus Christ, who died on the cross for all of us, just to set us free; the nail pierced hands, the blood He shed for us.

I'll be off one week next week for easter break. So, come date me!!! hehehe =) You wouldnt wan to see me rotting at home.

Assignments + more assignments + mid sems = *SIGH**